" U " !

U are not alone, U should know that,as long as there is a me to care about a U,

U can run away,U can stand and fight,a million miles can separate,U wont be alone and that is a fact "100%"true.

U were born to live and experience your truth your way,sometimes U have to learn the hard way with tears in your eye,

U can duck your head,you can attempt to dodge the blows,U will still get hit no matter how hard U try.

U can dread the hits,get used to the pain and let callous harden and coat your soul,

U can hope,U can wish,U can pray and U can fight for your dreams in a world U cant control

U can lower expectations & accept what you can get,U can lose hope,U can stop making wishes,

U can pray for divine intervention,U can realize the fight isn't fair,U can find its often vicious.

U can win a round here & there and feel like U lose even if U occasionally win,

U can never forget,U sometimes need to accept losses,U learn how to the truth spin.

,U embrace your imperfections once U know your flawed & feel slightly broken,

U silently cry and U vocally rage,U stop looking & yet you still hope to hear the right words spoken,

Words that can let U feel U are not alone if you choose not to be,

Eyes that tell U how beautiful the version of U is,that they get to see.

U will still tell yourself "this cannot be real" They are just following suit and U just know U are hearing another lie,

U cannot possibly understand my reality and my pain,U can't fix whats broken,why would U even try?

U get used to running away,U run because U don't know how to explain,

U are focused on your reality,and U don't want to cause anyone else any pain. 

Hey U you need to listen and know that who U were in that first real focused glance,

Is just the kind of U,someone like me is dying to ask for even just a half of a real chance.

U can only get better to me,U see if i can accept the U that U might think is U at your worst,

I can roll with your punches and hold U close,I can show U i am both last and first,

I will be the last one U ever have to doubt,and the first one who is going to be a forever kind of true,

With the words spoken here that say, Okay U might not be perfect,But I am perfectly Okay with " U " !

I

  I've done a few things here and there, I sometimes thought I had it all,

I jumped into the flames of hell, and prayed to heaven after fall after fall.

I rolled the dice gambling my soul, then cursed my wretched fate,

I looked for love in the shadows and faces of the kind of people and places I hate.

I told lies that I would then beat you in order to force you to believe,

I've stood in shock and disbelief that someone would dare to me attempt to deceive.

I lived under bridges, in bushes and even a lean to sidewalk hovel,

I dug my own grave a 100 times using my addiction as the shovel.

I was too good to dig in the dumpster but good enough to watch another,

I knew it was trash all along but still believed there might be treasure to discover.

I stayed up for days and weeks on end just in case there was something I might just miss,

I put my body and mind in chemical comas because i felt to miserable to another second exist.

I showered with spray bottles and rags,chasing a  pathetic broken dream ,

I would lie down in gutters and pretend I was squeaky clean.

I did whatever I had to do over and over again and yes I would have done it to you,

I lived a lie of a life and died a little every day swearing it was true.

I sold pieces of my soul and then plotted to steal them back,

I howled at the moon like a mad rabid dog and prayed to heaven to cut me some slack.

I sat in steel cages year after year plotting escape from my surely cursed existence,

I dove back in after every release at a ruthless puppet masters insistence.

I fought my way out of that war only to find out the struggle had just started,

The new me was unprepared for the mess left by the old me not at all so dearly departed.

I relearned old lessons without the anasthesia of my old faithful chemical choices,

I still listened to everything but the common sense of the heart and souls inner voices.

I tried to halfheartedly fight like the animal I really used to be,

I tapped out when I realized surrender was the only way I could be free.

I stood up to myself and sacrificed the fantasy I really wished would come true,

I am walking away from yesterday and painfully crawling away from you.

I see the road ahead and it is long, hard and lonely,and at times it will hurt my heart like hell,

I will be alright though"I swear",well maybe I wont but after all its still my story to tell.

Quiet

It used to get real quiet in my jungle
In the deep dark soul kill still of the night.
I mean, really, surrounded by 8 or 9 million people you figure there should've been "something"to hear,anything besides the pumping, pulsing sound of blood rushing through the tiny vessels in my head.                                                    Even as I would whisper desperate wishes to my self,                                               Even as I would scream at the silent world in my mind
Still there would be no noise. I would feel pain sometime so intense that I would wonder why I couldn't hear it as it lasts and bit into my soul striking at the very essence of my being
Yeah!, it was real quiet there in my jungle existing on the animalistic instincts of the nature of the Beast inside of me, the disease Beast unleashed by my allergy to the elixir of my death, a potion n all dressed up in a snake or a bottle label temporary transcendental freedom and included in every package free deck of cards all Jokers costume does angels with wings on fire falling down, down, down into a plane empty grave with a cardboard tombstone labeled 

"Here lies a fool" Born:Never Really.   Dead:Forever More. 

Yeah! It was always so quiet in my jungle, I figure if I would have just kept on laying there, posted up lurking and listening, I wouldn't have even noticed my final breath, 
I wouldn't have even heard myself croak,"Oh Shit"!