All alone by myself. (sitting in the park 8/12/12)

All alone by myself in a clean and clear state of mind, I'm trying to live this life I now see,

In spite of wanting to find something profound to say, even though there's no-one here but me.

It's a long way from where I once was and I am still trying to assimilate all these things I am starting to feel,

It's a far cry from the nothing much I barely felt then, and the little I did I had to beg, borrow and steal.

I was full of rage then with no place to scream, so I was resigned to mumbling and muttering to myself out loud,

Using incoherent coded pig-Latin to keep my secrets because in my addicted mind, there was always a crowd.

Not one of that crowd was there to help me, as it was they just barely chemically existed, were

My pain and suffering was a matter of fact in those days and yet facts were always easy to be twisted.

It wasn't a friendly bunch in my head because they were born in the womb of a disease,

Clarity contradicted confusion and honestly with confusion they were much easier to please.

Alone with myself in this clean and clear state of mind, I am slowly starting to gain back some measure of control,

Of the mess they made while their screams in my mind drowned out the tears and whispers in my soul.

So I guess there is only so much I "can" say, yet what really matters is what I do,

I will have to remember that one can still get bad advice even if the voices belong to you.

Step by step I'll just walk the walk in silence and take it one day at a time,

Avoiding the pitfalls of too much internal reflecting and just enjoying this clean and clear state of mind.