One last dance with the devil again for old time's sake I said,
A dance that led me into a nightmare and a trip back to hell instead.
So here I sit in a state of shock with a burning tear stuck in my eye,
The devil moved on long ago of course, always new fish to fry.
I gave away all I was looking for, you know that other me I was never going to find,
Losing my right to be in the light one hit after hit after hit at a time.
My world has shrunken considerably, to this cave of concrete and steel,
I wonder if it's even possible to describe how bad I feel.
I am always cold and hungry, I'm dirty, I'm pathetic and I got a hunch I stink,
It's noisy, it's insane, it's a wasteland full of animals and I cannot think.
Its rock bottom in a cold hard place, up and out will be such a difficult climb,
As the clock ticks away in my soul one agonizing second at a time.
Pain is throbbing in my mouth; I'm going to lose my last molar,
I can get some pills to knock me out if I claim to be bi-polar.
Then I could try to imagine I was free, it wouldn't work out I know,
Still deep into my mind is the only place right now I could possibly hope to go.
If I could talk to you in person, what a story I would surely tell,
You probably wouldn't believe me of course, so maybe it's just as well.
I would promise to show you with well-designed bull shit I was changing you might look if you were so inclined,
So all I can do is follow my own hearts direction one loud beat at a time.
What I did to myself was just plain selfish, it was stupid and most certainly absurd,
I really want to say I am sorry, but who will ever take me at my word.
I thought I could dance and rush forever, in this cage again I now realize in my mind
That the only realistic way out of this hell will be to fight one day at a time.
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